The good news is that I finished my midterm on Saturday morning and have just been working on editing it to turn in today!

The bad news is that I ate way too much at the party on Saturday and have felt sick ever since. I was still under my calories for the week, but only because after eating only one meal around lunchtime yesterday, I felt incredibly awful and didn’t eat again the rest of the day. I’m still not hungry and am actually a little nervous to try to put food into my stomach as it might make me feel sick again. I really need to remember that my smaller body just cannot handle eating and drinking in those amounts anymore, even if I have the calorie allotment for it.

In the past, I never really understood why people would say “I’m so full it hurts” or “I can’t eat anymore or I will be sick.” I thought maybe it was just an expression because I had always eaten so much that there was really no volume of food that could do this to me. Additionally, I would never get bloaty after eating a lot, or, if I did, I imagine that I was already big enough that I just didn’t notice.

Now, when I overeat, I lay around in misery the rest of the day. I’ve actually had to loosen my belt after meals. The whole thing is very strange to me. Hopefully I am able to adjust my habits soon – I still don’t always understand what I am doing to myself and think it will be ok. I think my level of sickness from this experience has really taught me that it’s not an issue of whether I can afford the calories or not – it’s an issue of whether my body can handle eating that much or not.

Here’s to hoping that lunch, which I will probably force myself to eat, does not make me miserable.


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