Facing Fears

Yesterday was a great day, even though I was quasi-sick!

I ran to the grocery store first thing to procure illness-alleviating items. I wanted to buy tea and see if there was any discounted Easter candy, so I went there instead of a drugstore. This turned out to be an amazing decision, because the allergy pills I wanted were on some kind of super sale (speaking of which, this either was a super allergy attack, which I am prone to, or the shortest illness ever, as I am feeling pretty much fine today).

Additionally, getting to the grocery store the day after a holiday at like 9 AM pretty much guarantees there will still be candy left over. I was able to get bags of mini Reese’s eggs and “Easter” Hershey Kisses (which are just normal Hershey kisses in pretty wrappers, so I don’t know why it matters) for $1 each!  Now, buying all of this candy might sound like a bad decision, but I like to have tiny candy around. Fun size/bite size things are really good for portion control for me. I am really bad at giving into chocolate cravings so it is better if I eat a fun size pack of M&Ms or like 4 kisses than if I like eat an entire slice of chocolate cake. This solution might not work for everyone, as I can imagine others struggle with the temptation of eating like the whole bag. I’m pretty good at stopping if things are individually wrapped, though (hence fun packs of M&Ms rather than whole bags). These treats are usually something like 70-100 calories so typically I have room for at least one treat a day and don’t  feel so deprived. That is really important for me, so that I don’t feel like I have to have some day where I eat tons of treats to compensate.

Additionally, I made another amazing discovery at the grocery store:

Observe the peanut butter(s) in the background. I’m fairly certain that giant thing of Jif is just for the dog’s Kong. The fact that there is more peanut butter in this kitchen that is not captured in this image should show you the level of dedication my roommate and I have to this glorious food.

About a year ago, my sister-in-law told me that she always buys some “organic tea called throat coat or something” when she has a cold/sore throat and that it is really nice. She couldn’t remember the brand or anything, but I assumed it wouldn’t be too difficult to find it (or at least a similar product). I was unable to find it until a few weeks ago, though, when I accidentally spotted it during a time when my grocery store was featuring their organic products. You see, I had assumed all of the organic teas were with the regular teas because some of the organic teas were. Not with my grocery store’s logic, though*. Apparently some teas are more organic than others. Now, I don’t subscribe to the idea that organic things are inherently better for you (though I understand ethical benefits, etc) and I would NEVER suggest solely pursuing natural remedies in lieu of medicine (though there are probably lots of natural remedies that help). I just bought this because she said it worked really well at soothing sore throats…and it did! This stuff was amazing. Do not be misled by its description of “slimy, in a good way.”  Apparently it contains stuff like licorice extract and marshmallow leaf  so it tastes wonderful while being incredibly soothing.  I’ll probably buy it just to drink normally.

Now, on to the real point of this post: yesterday was also amazing because I faced two big fears. In general, I’m a pretty nervous person who is scared of pretty much everything ever (I’m sure you have figured that out by now…), so this is a pretty big deal for me.

First of all, I have a terrible fear of treadmills. I’m really clumsy, so the idea of having to run on something at the exact same speed without ever slowing down, speeding up, or tripping is pretty intimidating. But I realized that next week I’m going to a conference in Chicago and the only time/place I’ll probably be able to run is super early in the morning or super late at night in my hotel gym. I don’t really have any way to avoid it, and I didn’t want my first treadmill run to be in a weird place, so I decided I would force myself to suck it up and try a treadmill. I told myself first that I would only use it for my warm-up (I usually jog 3-5 minutes before I do anything else at the gym). That went ok, and I was able to crank it up to 6.7 mph (for like 30 seconds, just as an experiment, I mean, this was my warmup) without falling over and dying so I convinced myself that I would be able to run my whole three miles on it. After all, it was a nice day, so if I had trouble, I could just get off the thing and go outside. My biggest problem turned out not to be my clumsyness (I did trip, and the treadmill stopped because the string pulled, and I didn’t fall down and injure myself or anything), but the heat in the gym. I was soooo miserable, especially because I wore a long -sleeved shirt thinking I would be heading outside. I had to run really really slowly not because of my clumsy nature but because I was dripping sweat! At least it felt like a hard workout!

I also braved the “big boy” weight room…sort of. I went in with every intention to use the squat rack, but after taking one look at the barbell, I convinced myself that there was NO WAY that thing only weighed 45 lbs, and I was really afraid I’d injure myself, so I just used one of the tiny barbells with weights labeled on it laying around instead. Nothing bad happened, and I’ve become more convinced by Googling that the one in the squat rack really is that “light” so I guess I’ll use it next time. But at least I did my lifting in that room. It helped that some badass chick was running around carrying some gigantic like 200 pound thing. She obviously got yelled at, but was like “but…but…my workout!” and I decided if she could break the rules so blatantly I had no excuse to not do my completely normal non-rule breaking workout in there (well, partially, there are none of those squishy balls or platforms for step-ups or yoga mats in there so I had to go to another room for some stuff). Still, just going in and doing something without panicking was a big step for me.

Hopefully my other days this week are just as good!

*All of the grocery stores in this town have incredibly bad logic. For example, one of them has an “international” food section that has basically anything that could remotely be considered international alongside a small “authentic” section for that country’s foods. So pasta and salsa are in this aisle, next to authentic Mexican and Italian foods. Wut?

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